The Birdie hits reset button, makes Westmoreland County playoff picks

By: The Birdie
Wednesday, November 3, 2021 | 6:54 PM

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Last week: 9-4 (69.2%)

Season: 88-35 (71.5%)

When the Birdie caught wind that Seton Hill was getting Esports teams for the fall of 2022, he checked to see if he had any college eligibility left.

“If you’d have seen me play Tecmo Bowl back in the day, you’d know why,” he said, motioning with wiggling thumbs and playing an air Nintendo controller. “You didn’t want any of this.”

The Birdie, who is fired up for the playoffs, bought an old Nintendo system from CD Warehouse, along with Super Tecmo Bowl.

“I have to keep restarting games because it keeps crashing,” he said. “I take out the cartridge and blow on it, but I don’t have the balloon-puffing lungs I used to have. Smacking it on my knee seems to work.”

When he does get the system going without stops and starts, he pretends some of the teams and players are from local high schools.

“When I run with Bo Jackson or Barry Sanders, it’s like I’m Devin Whitlock: zig-zags and ridiculousness,” he said. “And sometimes I play as the Houston Oilers; Warren Moon is Hayden Teska. Guess that makes Ernest Givens Cody Rebrecht. Down-A on my controller always goes for a go-route touchdown.”

He rambles on like Led Zeppelin.

“The Buffalo Bills remind me of Penn-Trafford with their running game and sneaky passing attack. Although, Christian Okoye of the KC Chiefs is my Cade Yacamelli — speed and power. I wish you could have William “The Refrigerator” Perry score a touchdown like real life. That reminds of me of big Jude Grzywinski tossing a TD pass for Ligonier Valley.”

The Birdie had to cancel a Tecmo Bowl party last Saturday night because the WPIAL was doing a virtual release of its playoff pairings.

He was bummed out there was no meeting again in Green Tree. He always smashes his piggy bank so he can patronize the lobby bar at the DoubleTree.

“I will have to reschedule,” he said. “I’ll let you know if Seton Hill sends me a recruiting letter.”

Before he gets too distracted by nostalgia, the Birdie’s offers his playoff picks.

• Franklin Regional (3-7) at Penn Hills (6-3): Franklin Regional might need a comeback like it had against Latrobe to extend its season. Penn Hills will be too fast for the Panthers. Penn Hills, 21-13

• Burrell (3-7) at Mt. Pleasant (5-4): The Birdie always appreciates an all-Westmoreland matchup in the playoffs. He thinks Mt. Pleasant will wear down the Bucs with their running game. Mt. Pleasant, 24-12

• Ligonier Valley (8-2) at South Side (7-3): Ligonier Valley never could have imagined it would put so many miles on its buses when it rejoined the WPIAL. The Rams will make the long trek to Raccoon Township and the drive back will be enjoyable. Ligonier Valley, 19-16

• East Allegheny (4-5) at Southmoreland (7-3): A home playoff game at Southmoreland? Yes, the Birdie will have some of that. He thinks the Interstate is a better conference than the Allegheny Seven, so the Scotties get the nod. A playoff win for the Scotties? Really? Southmoreland, 21-14

• OLSH (6-3) at Greensburg Central Catholic (6-4): GCC will be missing a lot of key players so that diminishes the matchup and tiles the scale in OLSH’s favor. OLSH, 18-8

• Monessen (4-6) vs. Cornell (7-2): Any success that happens from here is gravy for overachieving Monessen. But Cornell will be too much for the Greyhounds. Cornell, 32-8

Tags: Burrell, Cornell, East Allegheny, Franklin Regional, Greensburg C.C., Ligonier Valley, Monessen, Mt. Pleasant, Our Lady of the Sacred Heart, Penn Hills, South Side, Southmoreland