Pick or treat with The Birdie in Week 9 for Westmoreland County football

By: The Birdie
Wednesday, October 23, 2024 | 6:24 PM

Last week: 9-3 (75%)

Season: 84-27 (75.7%)

Halloween is the Birdie’s favorite time of year, and the candy-hunting pigskin pillock has narrowed his costume choices to five.

“I am blessed and humbled to announce my top five get-ups,” Birdie said. “When I decide on a No. 1, please respect my decision.”

While a person already disguised as a bird, dressing up as someone or something else seems like overkill, the Birdie doesn’t think so and won’t let you ruin his favorite holiday.

“Boys and ghouls, I am going to haunt you. … Pick or treat,” he shouts, letting out an evil laugh. “You’re going to be scored to death. Muhahaha.”

He wanted to dress up as a fly on the wall in the WPIAL steering committee wild-card meeting, but he couldn’t quite nail the look, so he’s going another direction.

His top five are:

• Art the Clown. The Birdie saw “Terrifier 3” at the Evergreen Drive-In last weekend and, while he is avoiding shower rooms for the rest of the season, he likes the character.

“He’s a finisher, and he keeps going after contact,” Birdie said.

• Paparazzi. He has a trench coat, a fedora and sunglasses like his old friend, “The Phantom Diner” from Evening Magazine used to wear.

“Maybe I’ll sneak some concession food and review it,” Birdie said. “After I eat my candy, of course. I always have my camera in hand, ready to film, so behave out there.”

• George Pickens. “I will only knock on doors on the perimeter of neighborhoods because I don’t go over the middle, and if you give me candy I don’t like, I’ll pout on your porch steps. If I do get sweets I want, I’ll be your friend.”

His eye-black message: “Treat bag open always.”

• The Southmoreland Scottie. The Birdie wants to add some bark to the outfit. “When you think Scottie, you don’t get scared. For trick-or-treat night, I am a ‘Snarlin’ Scottie.’ Watch me show my teeth and get some extra Reese’s cups — and a playoff win.”

• Revolutionary War soldier. The Birdie attended Fort Ligonier Days and became inspired by the 18th-century garb. He “borrowed” a red coat but plans to return it before the playoffs begin.

“I could see Coach Beitel in one of those uniforms,” Birdie said. “He’s led his troops into more battles than any local coach. Now can I get a Beitel Burger?”

His honorable mention idea was a popular politician he heard speak in Latrobe.

“I didn’t want to scare you with things that go Trump in the night,” he said. “I’ll leave politics to the news side.”

With his treat bag open and his mouth finally closed, the Birdie is knocking with his Week 9 picks:

Norwin at Mt. Lebanon: It’s been a season of what-ifs for Norwin. The next question will be, what if the Knights stay healthy next season? Mt. Lebanon, 20-14

Armstrong at Franklin Regional: Franklin Regional will need to bracket receivers and drop several guys into coverage to prevent big pass plays. The Panthers will establish the run early. Franklin Regional, 28-20

Penn-Trafford at Latrobe: Once a potential game of the year in the county, this matchup has been reduced to injury reports and potential starters resting. Penn-Trafford, 24-14

Belle Vernon at Trinity: Belle Vernon is rounding into playoff form, and a good road test will help the Leopards’ preparation. Belle Vernon, 30-20

Derry at Yough: Yough has been trying to play a full four quarters all season. This is the week the Cougars do it in all three phases for 48 minutes. Yough, 26-21

Elizabeth Forward at Mt. Pleasant: Though Mt. Pleasant has shown flashes on offense, the defense leaves plenty to be desired. Elizabeth Forward, 36-13

Southmoreland at Greensburg Salem: Greensburg Salem appears to have the defensive backs to slow down the Scotties and the running game to stay with them. The difference will be up front. Southmoreland, 27-14

Apollo-Ridge at Ligonier Valley: Ligonier Valley will set the tone early and end the season with a tidy home win. Ligonier Valley, 20-7

Monessen at Cornell: Talk about a playoff atmosphere. This should be a fun one in the Black Hills. Cornell, 34-32

Greensburg Central Catholic at Leechburg; The Greensburg Central Catholic defense has been staunch for stretches, but it won’t have enough in the tank for slow the Blue Devils. Leechburg, 36-16

Hempfield at Gateway: The Spartans’ receivers and defensive backs will be tested. Gateway, 24-14

Jeannette at Riverview: Jeannette will score early and often and end the regular season on a nice afternoon in Oakmont. Jeannette, 28-12

Tags: Apollo-Ridge, Armstrong, Belle Vernon, Cornell, Derry Area, Elizabeth Forward, Franklin Regional, Gateway, Greensburg C.C., Greensburg Salem, Hempfield, Jeannette, Latrobe, Leechburg, Ligonier Valley, Monessen, Mt. lebanon, Mt. Pleasant, Norwin, Penn-Trafford, Riverview, Southmoreland, Trinity, Yough