The Birdie out to build his brand with Westmoreland County Week 4 picks

By: The Birdie
Wednesday, September 18, 2024 | 7:49 PM

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Last week: 7-7 (50%)

Season: 34-14 (70.8%)

A battered Birdie came to work this week wearing a tank top, a cowboy hat and a gold chain.

He then went into an office and set up a camera and microphone and decorated his desk with bobbleheads, helmets and sports knickknacks.

“I have to do my podcast,” he said, sounding harried. “I have to give the people what they want. I need views, clicks, ego fuel. But let’s make it fast, I gotta get out of here because I have a pizza review in about an hour and a half.

“It’s time to change my tune.”

The Birdie set out to launch “Birdstoop Sports,” a side hustle aimed at the younger crowd and an opportunity for him to “build his brand.”

He thinks the approach might help him after one of the worst weeks of his career (7-7). The part-timers booed him when he came back to to office last week. Someone hit him with a tomato.

“If all these fan boys can do it, so can I,” Birdie said. “This bro culture thing might be for me. All I have to do is pretend to know what I am talking about, swear a lot and make fun of everything, then I get paid. That’s how it works, right? I can handle that. Heck, I could have been doing pizza reviews all my life. I’m not sure what makes you an expert, but I must be one by now.”

But what about the other pop-culture brands? Doesn’t he want to be original?

“No, I am not copying anybody,” Birdie said. “A reader once accused me of plagiarism. Hey, those were his words, not mine.”

The new venture didn’t last long. Mr. Birdie’s camera broke, he only got five followers and when he showed up for the pizza review, they slammed the door in his face.

“Wait until that review comes out,” Birdie said. “I am picking your town’s school to lose.”

Speaking of reviews, here is the shuttlecock’s take on this week’s games:

Central Catholic (2-2, 1-0 at Hempfield (1-3, 0-1): Hempfield’s passing attack is vastly improved from Week Zero, but the Spartans will have to run the ball well, too, to hang with the Vikings. Central Catholic, 42-14

Norwin (2-2, 0-1) at North Allegheny (4-0, 1-0): The difference here will be up front, where North Allegheny will control the line of scrimmage and let its playmakers work in space. Norwin won’t back down but simply won’t have enough in the tank. North Allegheny, 36-16

Armstrong (2-2, 0-0) at Latrobe (3-1, 0-1): Armstrong has the ability to put up points, but Latrobe has a way of preventing them. Watch that pass rush work. Latrobe, 30-16

Franklin Regional (3-1, 1-0) at Gateway (2-2, 1-0): These neighbors don’t exactly attend the same block parties. Gateway’s offense is still finding itself, and this could be the week it happens. But the Panthers have more experience — and momentum. Franklin Regional, 20-17

Penn-Trafford (2-2, 0-1) at Kiski Area (1-3, 0-1): This is a tough conference road test for Penn-Trafford, and the Warriors have to be able to stop the pass to win. It should be close. Penn-Trafford, 23-20

Ligonier Valley (2-2, 1-1) at Our Lady of the Sacred Heart (1-2, 0-1): Ligonier to Moon is one long trip for a conference game. The Rams will use long drives to push back the Chargers. Ligonier Valley, 28-23

Fort Cherry (4-0, 1-0) at Monessen (4-0, 1-0): A game the Birdie has been eyeing for a couple of weeks, this will show just how good Fort Cherry is defensively and if Monessen can run with the big dogs. Fort Cherry, 38-20

Brentwood (2-2, 1-1) at Greensburg Central Catholic (1-2, 0-1): GCC should be able to hit on some big plays early and set the tone for a big home win. GCC, 36-13

Leechburg (4-0, 1-0) at Jeannette (4-0, 1-0): If it is offense you crave, McKee Stadium is the place to be. This one should go back and forth, but Jeannette will have the ball last. Jeannette, 42-36

Ambridge (2-1) at Greensburg Salem (4-0): Greensburg Salem’s fourth home game in five weeks will end with another positive result for the Golden Lions, who continue to show balance on offense. Greensburg Salem, 24-16

Indiana (1-3) at Derry (2-2): Both offenses have had issues finishing drives, so expect a grind at Trojan Stadium. Derry, 17-14

Laurel Highlands (2-1) at Mt. Pleasant (2-2): Mt. Pleasant has experienced close games so far this season, but the Vikings will get some breathing room and finish this week. Mt. Pleasant, 24-14

South Fayette (4-0) at Belle Vernon (1-1): Don’t sleep on this nonconference gem. Belle Vernon will need its offensive weapons to click to hold off the Lions. South Fayette, 38-14

Southmoreland (3-1) at Ringgold (1-3): Southmoreland is one of the top scoring teams in the state, and the splash plays will continue at the Grimm. Southmoreland, 44-20

Yough (2-2) at Blackhawk (2-2): Blackhawk is allowing nearly 30 points a game, but the Cougars are scoring more than 40. Yough might be backpedaling early. Blackhawk, 34-10

Tags: Ambridge, Armstrong, Belle Vernon, Blackhawk, Brentwood, Central Catholic, Derry Area, Fort Cherry, Franklin Regional, Gateway, Greensburg C.C., Greensburg Salem, Hempfield, Indiana, Jeannette, Kiski Area, Latrobe, Laurel Highlands, Leechburg, Ligonier Valley, Monessen, Mt. Pleasant, North Allegheny, Norwin, Our Lady of the Sacred Heart, Penn-Trafford, Ringgold, South Fayette, Southmoreland, Yough